Heerolocks and the three Peacecrafts
by FaraMazunaki
Summary: What can I say? A takeoff from Goldielocks and the three bears. OOCness, a dead Relena, Heero in a dress and Tia Peacecraft (see The Difference) PG13 for cussin' Enjoy! ^_^


  
Heerolocks and the three Peacecrafts  
  
  
Hmm, what can i say about this? OOCness, A dead Relena, Heero in a dress, and Tia Peacecraft.  
(The Difference) Hell, it must be fun! Enjoy!  
  
  
*******  
  
Charachters:   
  
Heerolocks: A sweet, innnocent, hungry, phsycopathic crossdressing killer.  
  
Milliardo Peacecraft: The oldest Peacecraft. He's just there for a punching bag.  
  
Relena Peacecraft: The youngest Peacecraft. She loves peace, quiet and everyone to get along.  
  
Tia Peacecraft: The middle Peacecraft. She loves fighting, food, and beating on her siblings.  
  
Narrator: You figure it out on your own, genius. (-_-)  
  
Fara: The Authoress whom heero would like to kill...  
  
Surfer dude pizza delivery boy: The Pizza delivery boy.  
*******  
  
*some Looney Toons music for a peaceful woods setting plays*  
  
Narrator: We found the three Peacecrafts in their humble, primitive dwelling...  
  
*camera flashes to a masion in the woods with a huge indoor pool and a whole ton of freebie  
options*  
  
Narrator: *coughs* well, the Peacecrafts were about to sit down for a nice, quiet meal...  
  
*the camera zooms to a window, where we can see inside the house. Tia is bashing in Millardo's  
head with a pan, and relena is desperatly trying to get her sister to stop.*  
  
Tia: MILLIARDO!! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY ABBA CD???? *Tia bashes in Malliardo's head some more*  
  
Milliardo: *gasps, trying to get away from Tia* Abba is a thing of the past....and a tacky thing  
of the past at that...  
  
Tia: WHAT WAS THAT??!! *she grabs Milli in a headlock and rams her elbow into his scull*  
  
Milliardo: x_X Ow....  
  
Relena: *desperatly tries to pry Milli out of Tia's grasp* Stop it!! You should sit down and   
talk about this--  
  
Tia: *lets go of Milli and grabs Relena in a headlock to try to get her to shutup*  
  
Relena: --like, ow Tia, let me go, rational individuals....  
  
Tia: *drops Relena on the floor* You make me sick...  
  
*Everyone's stomachs growl simultaniously*  
  
Relena: I'm hungry  
  
Milliardo: Don't worry, I made porridge!! *he puts three bowls of porridge on the table*  
  
Tia: Who in the hell wants to eat your stupid porridge? That's disgusting!  
  
Relena: I agree!  
  
Tia: *sweatdrop*  
  
Milliardo: ;_;  
  
Tia: Let's order out for pizza!  
  
Relena: But i want Chinese...   
  
Tia: Do I give a %@#$? *she picks up the phone and dials Domino's* Yeah, I'd like three large  
pizzas. Deliver to The House In The Woods, number 348. What do you mean it'll take an hour?!  
$20?! Fine! Screw you! *she slams the phone down on the reciever*  
  
Relena and Milliardo: *wimper*  
  
Tia: Alright, listen up. It'll take an hour, so i say let's go down to the Internet Cafe and   
annoy the hell out of that Francis guy again. Are ya with me?  
  
Relena and Milliardo: *in deadpan* yay  
  
Tia: *death glare*  
  
Relena and Milliardo: *shuts up*  
  
Narrator: So, the three Peacecrafts walked all the way to the Internet Cafe Solitude, where they  
proceded to annoy the hell out of everyone on AOL IM. Meanwhile, someone had sneaked into their   
house...  
  
(Heero walks into the mansion and looks around. He's wearing a cute little blonde wig and a   
blue party dress, looking very POed)  
  
Narrator: It's name was Heerolocks. I say it because it was really a man dressed up as a girl  
for a 'clever' disguise. Anyways, it walked into the mansion and looked around...  
  
Heerolocks: Ome o koruso. I'll kill Fara Mazunaki as soon as I find her!!! How dare she do   
this to me?!  
  
Fara Mazunaki: *suddenly appears next to Heero* If you don't get this right I'll change the  
story so you'll_marry_Relena...  
  
Heerolocks: ehh heh heh.... *suddenly* if i kill you, you can't write anything... *evil grin*  
  
Fara Mazunaki: Do it right, or else... *dissappears*  
  
Heerolocks: shit...she got away...  
  
Narrator: *coughs* ANYWAYS, Heerolocks hadn't eaten anything for a very long time, so she/he   
decided to see what these people had to eat around the house...  
  
Heerolocks: *goes through a ton of cabnits and finds nothing* Jeez, with a house this big   
you'd think they'd have SOMETHING to eat around here...*his eyes fall on the porridge*   
Well, at least it's food...  
  
Narrator: So, she/he--  
  
Heerolocks: *death glare* call me that one more time and you're dead.  
  
Narrator: ehh heh heh...*sweatdrop* So, Heerolocks sat down and began to eat the porridge...  
  
Heerolocks: *takes a spoonful of the porridge and puts it in his mouth, to promptly spit   
it out again* What in the hell is this crap?!  
  
Narrator: Who know? Milliardo cooked it!  
  
Heerolocks: *runs to get the mouthwash*  
  
Narrator: So, after Heerolocks had rinsed the awful taste of Milli-chan's porridge, he went to   
search for the TV.  
  
Heerlocks: After all, if I'm here I might as well watch some Monday Night Football!  
  
Narrator: So, Heerolocks found the TV, but there were three chairs infront of it. Desicions,  
desicions...  
  
Heerolocks: *sits down in Milliardo's chair and promptly jumps up again* OW!! What's with all   
the needles? *he goes over to Tia's chair and sits down, but it collapses on him* Ow...  
  
Heerolocks: *eyes Relena's chair* I don't even want to try...  
  
Narrator: And, after all this, Heerolocks felt tred and decided that he neede some sleep.  
  
Heerolocks: *walks up to the bedrooms and sits down on Milliardo's bed* This bed is to hard...  
*he punches it and his hand ricochets off, the sheet falls off to reveal a rock* Ow...  
  
Narrator: He then went over to Tia's bed--  
  
Heerolocks: *jumps onto Tia's bed and he sinks through the center* *squeaks from inside the   
mattress* Can't breath!!  
  
Narrator: --but it was too soft, so he finally went over to Relena's bed--  
  
Heerolocks: *mutters* I'm leaving if this doesn't work...  
  
Narrator: --and it was just right, so he lied down and fell asleep...  
  
Fara Mazunaki: wow, this could be a lemon fic if i added a few things...  
  
Heerolocks: Omae o koruso  
  
Narrator: But meanwhile, the three Peacecrafts returned home.  
  
Milliardo: Somebody ate my porridge!! *he points to the bowl and the porridge all over   
the walls from when heerolocks spit it out*  
  
Tia: *scoffs* Looks like they didn't like it either.  
  
Relena: Tia! That's wasn't nice!  
  
Tia: I know.  
  
Narrator: The Domino's pizza boy then came to the door.  
  
Surfer dude pizza delivery boy: Dude, here's your, like, pizzas!  
  
Tia: Jeez, you took so @#$%&*$ long!! *grabs the pizzas*  
  
Boy: Aren't you gonna, like, give me a tip?  
  
Tia: Nope. *slams the door in the Pizza boy's face* let's go watch some football!!!!  
  
Milliardo and Relena: *sigh*  
  
Narrator: the Peacecrafts then walked into the den, where their chairs where.  
  
Milliardo: Someone's been sitting in my chair!!  
  
Tia: Now who in their right mind would want to do that?  
  
Relena: Somebody's been sitting in my chair too!!! And they smashed it!!!  
  
Tia and Milliardo: *silently cheer*  
  
Tia: And nobody touched my chair! *smile smile*  
  
Relena: I feel faint... *she passes out*  
  
Narrator: So, Milliardo carried Relena up thier rooms, Tia following only to see whether   
her wildest dream had come true and Relena was finally dead. However...  
  
Milliardo: hey, somebody's been sleeping in my bed!!  
  
Tia: Someone's been sleeping in my bed too! and I wasn't in it with them! *sniffs* The injustice!  
Which, come to think of it, is what I stand for...  
  
Milliardo: Hey, there's a guy in Relena's bed! *he pokes Heerolocks, who wakes up and looks  
around*  
  
Tia: o.O In Relena's...? Ew!  
  
Relena: *suddenly wakes up* There is?? OMG, there is!!! *she latches onto Heerolocks*   
Heelocks-sama!!!  
  
Heerolocks: oO *runs around screaming* GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!  
  
Narrator: So, Heerolocks picked up his gun and shot relena in the head, ending everybody's   
misery. And then he ran away, and they all lived (except Relena, who died) happily  
ever after.  
  
All: YAY!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Fara: needless to say, that turned out better then I thought it would.   
  
Tia: *dances around* Relena's dead, Relena's dead, Relena's dead!!!  
  
Heero: *has gotten out of the dress and wig* FARA!!!!  
  
Fara: oO uh-oh...  
  
Heero: OMAE O KORUSO!!! HOW DARE YOU PUT ME IN A DRESS!!!!   
  
Fara: ehh heh heh... well everyone, I think I'll leave because I don't want to see Relena in   
the afterlife for a long, long time. ja ne! *she dissappears*  
  
Heero: Damnit all! She keeps getting away!! *stomps his feet and pouts* Fara Fara Fara!!!  
  
Tia: *snickers* Marsha Marsha Marsha!!  
  
Heero: *death glare*  
  
Tia: eep! *teleports out as well*  
  
Fara: *pops back in quickly* Disclaimer: Gundam Wing, Goldylocks and the three bears, Dominos   
Pizza, AOL IM, ABBA, Monday Night Football and The Brady Bunch do not belong to me. If you think   
they do, you're an idiot. ^-^ Please R&R, thank you! ^-^  
  
Heero: FARA!!!!! *chases after Fara with a gun*  
  
Fara: oO Ja ne minna-san!!!! *teleports away* 


End file.
